My Pandemic Plays
At the beginning of February, I wrote the dumbest play I ever attempted, and I’ve written some stupid plays.
Evidence: the first professionally produced short play of mine was a Zoo Story rip-off about bacterium during the Cambrian Explosion of Life. In the past 11 years, this play has been produced several times since, published, and even produced a few times without my permission — it might actually be my biggest contribution to the culture so far…
But we’ll see. Last fall I was accepted into the initial writing pool of the New York PlayGround writing pool. PlayGround, which originated in the Bay Area, produces a monthly night of short plays that were written within a few days of receiving a topic prompt. The pool is full of talented writers and I’m honored to be among them.
The prompt for February 2022 was “What the World Needs Now,” based on the Burt Bacharach song. My submission, “Inflections in Greatness,” didn’t make it.
However, since I thought I reached a new height in stupidity, I knew I needed to unleash it on the public.
I also thought I would post “Dispatches from the Vaccine Wars,” which is also pretty stupid. It was my submission for October 2021 and was likewise rejected.
Why publish these online? Both of these short plays are oddly dated (like literally set in 2023 and 2024), so they have a short shelf life. They both directly reference the pandemic, and they might be my only work that will reflect on the pandemic.
Either way, enjoy – and if reading these negatively impacts your IQ, I am not liable.
Barry Eitel 
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