Dear Target, Walmart, Westfield Shopping Centre, Best Buy, Macy’s, et al.,
Americans are hurting. This year has been rough for so many of us. We’ve faced trials and tribulations. Lockdowns and second lockdowns. Pandemics and potdemics. President-elects and president suspects. And there is one simple way you can make 2020 a little brighter for everyone: give us a coupon.
What do we want? We want 15% off the latest electronics. We want $20 off outerwear for the whole family. We want $0.98 off brand-name sports drinks when you buy two.
Yes, you could say things went a little “askew” in 2020, but you have the power to make our lives better. Maybe we could even have 0% APR on a new Hyundai Elantra until 2022!
We don’t ask for much. We don’t really ask for anything. In fact, we’re very good at internalizing and adapting to our world getting worse each day without too much complaint. So, what do you say, stores? Let’s make a deal.
Signed,
The U.S., which also spells “us” (makes you think😊)
Barry Eitel 